Have you ever thought of your life as a film? A screenplay, more like. Every decision is a plot twist, it will take the storyline a slightly different way no matter how small the action.
I have always had trouble not thinking of my life this way. When you think of your life like a plot line, you know when there must be a rise and a fall. Or at least, when one is due. You have control over your life, over your destiny, but you keep thinking about what would be best for the storyline. It creeps in.
Someone new comes into your life. Someone SPECTACULAR. But you don’t know where they’re supposed to go in your little life plot line. It drives you insane. You know where you’d like them to go. But on some level you feel that it isn’t up to you. That while you are the main character, you may not be capable of directing. So there’s one thing that really sucks about this mindset.
The other thing that sucks is when you have to make an ACTUAL decision, a huge life decision. When that fight-or-flight mode kicks in you immediately think of the storyline. How will this decision affect the plot?
There is a lot of questioning that comes along with being trapped in this mindset. I suppose the only way to truly escape would be to write the script that has been given to you, or that you have given yourself. In real life, on paper, with ink, where you can edit and proofread and not just watch the plot go by.